The Scripts Aren’t the Problem—You Are: What Actually Makes Hard Conversations Work
Let’s talk about something most leaders don’t like to admit:
You’re not stuck because you don’t know what to say.
You’re stuck because you’re avoiding how it’s going to feel.
When we obsess over the perfect script—rehearsing lines, writing five drafts of an email, or running mental simulations like it’s 4D chess—we’re not leading. We’re managing our own anxiety. And while that’s understandable, it’s not effective.
In this week’s episode of the Culture Focused Practice podcast, I break down why scripts fall short, and what actually matters in tough conversations. Because no template can save you from the fallout of unprocessed fear or leadership avoidance.
Here’s What You Need Instead of a Script
Let’s be clear: I’m not against prep. But there’s a big difference between thoughtful preparation and trying to emotionally outsource your leadership to a Google Doc.
What really matters in tough conversations?
Your energy and posture. People don’t just hear your words—they feel your presence.
Your tone. The same sentence can land totally differently depending on whether it sounds warm, cold, rushed, or rigid.
Congruence. If your words say one thing but your face says another, people will believe your face.
Your ability to hold tension. Can you stay with someone when they’re upset? Can you sit in the discomfort without shutting down or rescuing?
Your willingness to be real. Scripts don’t build trust—your humanity does.
Common Script Fails (That You Might Not Realize You’re Doing)
Scripts often fail when:
They sound “nice” but feel condescending
They’re technically accurate but emotionally hollow
They read like corporate PR statements (even though they’re about your actual people)
If you’ve ever received a message that sounded… off, you know what I mean. We don’t connect with perfectly polished lines. We connect with real, imperfect, honest humans.
So What’s Worth Prepping?
Here’s what works without turning you into a robot:
Know your core concern. What’s the actual point you need to make?
Anchor in your values. If your feedback connects to the bigger “why” of your practice, it’s easier to deliver—and receive.
Get clear on your desired outcome. Are you seeking clarity? Alignment? Repair?
Have a regulation strategy. You can’t hold space for others if you’re ungrounded yourself. Whether it’s breathwork, body movement, or a quick pause mid-call—build in support for you too.
Bottom line? The words are helpful. But your presence is the message.
If you’re tired of trying to lead with Pinterest-perfect scripts and want to show up with more clarity, courage, and realness—come join us inside the Inside the Living Practice membership.
We don’t do fluff. We do the work.
👉 www.taravossenkemper.com/the-membership
About the Author
Dr. Tara Vossenkemper is a gently-candid consultant who’s been in the trenches of group practice ownership since 2017. With a hearty blend of depth, irreverence, and a solid dash of humor (or so she hopes), Tara helps practice owners navigate the can-be-messy process of hiring, culture-building, vision generating, people-y issues, and all the other things that keep you up at night. When she’s not consulting, she’s probably wrangling her animals or homeschooling her kids—because why not add more chaos to the mix?
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