Conflict Avoidance Isn’t Keeping the Peace—It’s Eroding Your Culture
Let’s get real: conflict avoidance is one of the sneakiest leadership habits out there—and it’s doing way more damage than you think. If you’ve ever told yourself you were “just keeping the peace” by sidestepping a hard conversation, let me lovingly call bullshit on that.
What you’re actually doing is creating chaos that’s just delayed. Avoidance doesn’t prevent conflict. It just lets it fester.
In this week’s episode of the Culture Focused Practice podcast, I dive headfirst into the real cost of conflict-avoidant leadership. Spoiler: it’s steep. Here’s a taste of what we cover:
Why You Avoid Conflict (Even If You Don’t Think You’re Avoidant)
Sometimes it’s people-pleasing. Sometimes it’s your therapist training whispering, “regulate the room.” Sometimes it’s a childhood wound that tells you conflict = danger. Either way, if you conflate discomfort with something being wrong, you’re probably backing away from critical conversations—and it’s costing your leadership integrity.
The Hidden Price Tag of Avoidance
Avoidance breeds resentment—both in you and in your team. It confuses roles, erodes trust, and sends the unspoken message that nothing will be addressed, even when it needs to be. Eventually, you don’t just have one problem—you have a culture problem.
What Avoidance Actually Looks Like
It’s not always dramatic. Often, it shows up as small behaviors: saying “it’s fine” when it’s not, delaying feedback until it’s irrelevant, over-praising to soften guilt, or letting poor behavior slide because you’re afraid of a blow-up. And it feels like leadership in the moment—because it’s comfortable. But comfort doesn’t equal effectiveness.
How to Lead Through Conflict Instead
We talk practical. Think: timely, clear, and direct feedback. Normalizing rupture and repair (yes, conflict can strengthen relationships). Naming your own discomfort out loud. And rejecting the idea that feeling good = doing good.
This isn’t about picking fights or getting dramatic. It’s about choosing honesty and alignment—even when it’s uncomfortable. Because the reality is: your silence might be the most harmful message your team is receiving.
If you’re ready to lead from clarity instead of fear, join us inside the Inside the Living Practice membership. We dig deep into topics like this—conflict, culture, leadership—and help you build a practice that actually reflects your values. Not just on paper. But in real-time, with real people.
About the Author
Dr. Tara Vossenkemper is a gently-candid consultant who’s been in the trenches of group practice ownership since 2017. With a hearty blend of depth, irreverence, and a solid dash of humor (or so she hopes), Tara helps practice owners navigate the can-be-messy process of hiring, culture-building, vision generating, people-y issues, and all the other things that keep you up at night. When she’s not consulting, she’s probably wrangling her animals or homeschooling her kids—because why not add more chaos to the mix?
Ready to dive deeper into practice culture? Join the membership and get access to the tools and insights that make thriving, sustainable practices more than just a pipe dream.
